Unhappy 4th of July

This post may sound mopey. Just warning you.

Hope you all enjoyed your summer holiday, with family reunions and picnics and fireworks. I hope your grass was green and your flowers were blooming. I hope you had a sunny day, maybe took a dip in the pool or hit the beach? Did you barbecue? I bet your patio table was overflowing with macaroni salad, juicy watermelon slices and piles of burgers and dogs. Sounds like fun.

Why didn't you invite me? Because I live across the country from you? Well, I guess thats true.

That seems to be the case with so many of these holidays. We understand, you can't invite us for drinks and sparklers with the kids, if flying across country is the only way we can attend. I know your probably not thinking about us...why should you? You've had plans for months with your favorite neighbors, old friends, and the grandparents. You probably just figured, everybody would be out there, enjoying the holiday weekend, surely the Watts family must be too.

Actually, that is not the case.

I am not going to cry about it, though I have been known to shed a few lonely tears on various holidays past. My family is a unit unto itself. Over the 12 years we've been married, we've had our good years, and our bad ones. On a good year, we might be visiting relatives on Christmas. On a good year, we might be attending a burger-burn with a few friends and a lot of acquaintances. On a good year, we may be all alone, but actually enjoying ourselves (more on that to follow) and making a happy holiday memory or two.

I know not every family holiday is all nostalgic scrapbook memories and singing by a campfire. I know that your sister in law is going to manipulate the situation and make everyone uncomfortable (again), and your cousin is going to drink far too much and lose his six pack all over the blooming rosebush in Grandma's garden. I know your Mom is driving you nuts with her nagging, and you are absolutely dreading the fact that your best pal has yet another boyfriend/girlfriend who you can already predict will make everyone around the table cringe with their bad manners/inappropriate dirty jokes/snorting cackle of laughter. But people, regardless of these holiday hiccups, just remember, it's better than being alone.

Being alone (even when the 5 of us are together) can really be depressing. Especially when I have to think about all the memories (see above) being made at said holiday celebration, without us, yet again.

But this is the life of a military family. And this is the life that we have, and have had for a long time. We are in another new town this year. We have made some tentative "friends", but they could more accurately be categorized as "new acquaintances". We are not total sad sacks, we did get a couple of invitations for 4th of July celebrations, but this year has just been a bummer and those prospects deflated like a shriveled birthday balloon.

We started out at church this morning. Today's service was held outside, at the lakeside park for a combo church service and Freedom picnic. We dressed in American-inspired regalia, with the girls sporting red, white and blue and adorable braided pigtails. Brian and I were more toned down, but we smiled as we carted our kids and our plate of homemade brownies and our patio chairs to the gathering of church folks around a balloon bedecked stage. Within 5 minutes of our arrival, the whining began.

Can you believe, on July the 4th, it was probably no warmer than 55 degrees there by the lakeside? Smarter individuals were wrapped in blankets and piled with sweatshirts. My family shivered and shuddered in our Sunday skirts and lightweight t shirts. I wore flip flops! Within about 15 minutes, I sent my Hubby home to fetch some pants and blankets. Luckily, the park is just 10 minutes from our house. He made it back before the service ended, and we all benefited from the added layers of warmth, but the whining had only just begun.

"Is it over yet???" whined the 9 year old, as she rocked her chair dangerously close to the family in front of us, eventually giving up hope. and slumping over as if dead in her seat.

"I'm lightheaded....I'm so starving!!!" whined the teenager, as she slouched in her chair, legs sprawled out in a most inappropriate way, as the Pastor led a patriotic prayer from the podium.

My youngest child was the most chipper during the long and frosty service, but her behavior wasn't exemplary either. Not unless you approve of wiggling like a worm on a hook and singing her own songs (loudly) during the hymns.

The service concluded, and the Pastor called everyone to line up for the barbecue and pot-luck, spread out deliciously by the industrious volunteers. Plastic table cloths and aluminum foiled delicacies waited on tables linked like train cars beneath the pavilion. But as we joined the line up, it occurred to me that my dietary restrictions (no burgers, not ever!) were going to limit my feasting to the pasta salad and brownie plates. My 9 year old began sobbing because the line was too long. The Teenager was single-minded in her hunger, and was ready to bowl over any elderly church lady or small child between her and a juicy hamburger. Husband got fed up with everyone, grabbed the patio chairs, barked a few orders at the stragglers, and marched us all to the minivan. We drove home, sullen, hungry and sobbing, and it only got worse after that.

The combination of general bad moods and cold weather, compounded by the onslaught of multiple headaches, pretty much squashed any additional holiday afternoon plans. We'd been invited to a co-worker's house on the Base for a 4th of July dinner, but it was decided it was best not to attend this year. Later, to add that cherry on top of our darkly clouded afternoon, the baby hit the bathroom with a case of what she calls, "diet-rita". I leave you to translate that for yourselves.

Tonight, fireworks start downtown at 10pm. If we had a party of friends and relatives to drag us along, we might consider attending. But as it stands, hubby has no intention of navigating the crowds, the kids hate the loud bangs of the firecrackers, and 10pm is far past everyone's bedtime at our house.

No wonder we're all alone....who the heck would want to hang out with us???

I don't hate holidays, honestly, but I really wish that we could look forward to them like everyone else seems to. I make every holiday a "family" event in my own mind, so when I have no "family" around to enjoy it with, my celebration always finds some way to fall flat. I'm always just a little bit sad. Maybe some day, we will live someplace where a few hours drive will bring us to Grandma's house. That would sure be nice.

Oh God, no joke, the baby just barfed everywhere. Happy 4th of July. Blah.